What do you think of me?

Once - not long ago - when I got from school, some of my classmates were heading to the same direction as me. I wanted to go with them, but it felt awkward to ask if they wanted to go with me. So I didn't. They looked like they had fun, like they always do. I probably looked just like a fool.

There are times when I wonder what people think of me. The ones I dated and then threw away; are they hating me now, thinking that I'm cruel? The ones I have fun with at school; are they relieved that they don't have to spend time with me outside school? The ones I consider as my closest friends, but with whom I fail to keep contact sometimes; are they disappointed in me?
The ones to whom I wasn't able to offer my help when they needed it; can they ever trust me again?


What do you think of me? I'd like to ask, but I can't.


I wish I had the courage to even put these words on a little piece of paper and send it to them. I wish I had the courage to ask my classmates to walk with me if they're going to the same direction.

I wish I could stop being this stupid-cruel-insecure-weak-awkward-bad friend-liar that I am.