How to stop a storm?

It's been storming for a few days already, not only outside my window but in my life as well. The storm outside is raging and furious, making trees fall and causing power cuts.
The storm inside me is smaller and calmer, but still it's making me waver.

I don't exactly know where it came from, this thunderstorm. Maybe it was because of Christmas, maybe it's because tomorrow my mother would turn 60. Maybe it's because soon comes the new year and I'm not really prepared to face another year without her. Probably it's because of everything.

It snowed on Christmas. It made me happy. Without snow, it might have been even more miserable - not saying that I didn't have a nice Christmas, it's just... What I have come to realize is that Christmas is never going to be the same without her.

It snowed on Christmas and it made me happy, but how do I stop this storm inside of me now? I don't know, but I will. Someday.




PS. Hey you. You awesome person. If you're reading this, I'm sorry that I haven't been in contact for a few days. I'm sorry that I won't probably be able to be in contact with you for the next few days as well. I'm sorry that I have been avoiding you - well, I have been running away from everyone, actually. But stop worrying, because I'm pretty sure you are. You shouldn't. I am... I will be fine. Just wait for me. Give me some time.
I'll make all this up to by letting you stab me ten times the next time we chat, alright?


PPS. It felt kind of weird to send you this via Facebook or something (I tried!), so I'm blogging it instead and making it all in public. Ha.
Sorry........